What do you do when you’ve lived your life and survived? The end. Shotgun? If so—how do you do it? Point at your temple and aim at the zero-gravity-universe inside your skull? Or do you shove the barrel down your throat—like you do your fingers? Gag yourself with the heavy metal muzzle. Puke your brains out.
Your arms are not long enough to hold a shotgun. Also, you don’t have a shotgun.
You have: bleach, a box of razor blades you bought twenty years ago, at Flax Art Supply in San Francisco. You have a very sharp chef’s knife. But the knife was a birthday present so it seems disrespectful to use it to slit your wrists. Plus, wrist slitting seems like an acute challenge and you’ve never been good with details.
There are many variables in something you’ve seen perfectly executed thousands of times, in films. In movies, most of the time, when people get killed they get killed with a bullet. Pills are for the wealthy. In movies, wealthy people are poor.
Jesus is not some abstract idea or person who died 2,000 years ago. He is alive. He said, “I will never leave you.” He knows you cannot do it alone. We are too weak, every last one of us. Who do you know that really “has it together”? No one- not you, not me – there is no security here. No perfection here – yet- until he returns. There is no plateau that we reach on earth where everything is happy and harmonious because of our physical appearance, our home, our job our income – that is grasping at empty air and only in our spiritual life will we reach it — only with Jesus accepting His Love — in believing in Him can we experience that security & happiness that everyone seeks.
Kathy, 1977
Trinidad
Michelle O’Kane 