AKA Disaster Girl

Disaster Girl. Ces’t moi. If I recall correctly, I earned that nickname right after I shattered my tibfib during roller derby practice. Tahoe Derby Dames! Anyway.

That nickname morphed into other versions—such as FallGirl, Tripsalot, Fally Risky, LeggyO’Breaky, dumbass. Etc., etc., etc.

So. On September 27th I was ordered to go the ER because I was anemic. So I went. Had a bunch of scans. Gave blood got blood. Went back home. And then, 6 hours later, the Parkland ER called me and ordered me to come back because ACUTE PANCREATITIS. Again.

So then I went back to the Parkland ER. Got admitted. Was not allowed to leave the hospital for 8 more days. Etcetera.

As is common with lengthy hospital stays, I was attached to the bed through my hardworking IV pole. And a built-in bed alarm. Then, on my last couple of days, I was released from the alarm. YAY! I was able to, with IV pole in tow, go the bathroom all by myself.

My bathroom. Bwa. Ha Ha.

Of course, on my way back from the bathroom, a wave of vertigo washed over me and I fell down. I crashed to the gross hospital floor–and brought the IV pole with me—yes–the heavy-as-rocks pole landed on me. (Yes, that is what she said.) It was a pretty nasty fall, which I know because of the gigantic bruise on my upper thigh. (That other big dark bruise on my leg was not induced by this fall. It’s a bruise from bad blood.) Anyhoo. Just another day in Feisty Falls Down world.